Released on = August 30, 2006, 9:20 pm

Press Release Author = Alexandra Mannock

Industry = Healthcare

Press Release Summary = Does confrontation of a nasty person really make your life
any easier...and actually serve to reduce your stress and anxiety? Research shows
that a poor confrontative method (such as yelling or screaming) does not do the
trick, as it actually RAISES blood pressure and anxiety. So where does that leave
YOU when you want to "get out" what you want to say to that mean-spirited
individual? Find out in this article!

Press Release Body = One of the major points I make in an "anxiety self-help" ebook
I just released is that if you are nice to others, it will come back to you in
incredibly positive ways! And conversely, if you are mean to someone, remember...as
they say..."Be careful of what you think or say to others. It will come back to you
three fold."

I must elaborate on this...

Listen, when someone is not very nice to you, it doesn't feel particularly good.
Doesn't it just make ya want to say all sorts of horrible things to that person??!!
Getting angry and wanting to spout off to that particular individual is a natural
response...so, don\'t worry.

Here's the thing...remember how outrageously awful it feels to have someone
criticize, belittle, devalue, or undermine you. Now, hold that thought for a
moment...

This is the difficult part:

...I ask that you walk in that "mean" person's shoes for a moment...think about how
low their self-esteem must be, for them to have to say such nasty things to
you...try to feel their depressive state. Think about how injured their ego must
be...how sad and insecure they must feel inside. The key is to to make a sincere
effort to empathize (i.e. walk in their shoes) with that person. Try...as difficult
as it may be...to feel what they may be feeling.

Next...Let go of these thoughts...release any thinking of this person's experience.

Now...Whether you are alone in the room or seeing a counselor, bring thoughts into
your mind of how horrible YOU felt when they said these distasteful and uncalled-for
things to you. Feel your own pain...let yourself experience feeling
angry...cry...emote...or punch a pillow if you must! Write your feelings down if ya
have to! Personally, I'm a big fan of writing down one's feelings in a journal.
(Note: Sometimes anger can really overwhelm someone. If you feel more comfortable
thinking about and expressing feelings of anger with a counselor present, then by
all means, do so!)

Next...think...take a huge breath, come into your rational state of mind...get out
of your "reactionary" mode and into a more "proactive" mode. Consider the
appropriate words you might like to say to that person without being totally cruel,
relentless, and stooping to his or her level.

Then, wait until the next day (usually it helps to wait a day or two) in order to be
refreshed, think logically, and feel calmer. Remember...you were A LOT more anxious
at the moment that person verbally tore you apart, than you are when you are relaxed
and refreshed the next day. That's why it's important that you take the time to
sleep it off, get relaxed, and feel calmer.

Next, take a pen to paper and write down what you'd like to say to that person...how
you'd like to express yourself. Perhaps you'd like to tell that that person how much
he or she hurt you. It may take awhile to come up with the words. But you must
determine a way to say what you need to say to that person, in a firm but
non-abusive manner.

Now...here's the weird part...

Did you know that expressing your feelings in a cruel, unbridled, uncensored,
reactionary way actually GIVES you MORE anxiety!???

Yep! It does! And so that is why I emphasize "thinking things out" before you speak
or write to that person..."rationalizing" and using logic while in a calm state of
mind, when expressing your retort to that not-so-nice individual!

You see...even though you are saying something distasteful to that individual, you
are stating it in a way that won't make you MORE anxious/stressed...you are being
the responsible, character-filled, "bigger" adult in this scenario...and that means
a lot!

Conclusion...

So...bottom line...when you find yourself in a confrontative situation where someone
is mistreating you or is even downright verbally or mentally abusive toward you,
take a step back, breath in, become logical, say what you have to say, but take the
high road!

You'll find that your conscience will be clear...and that you are the better person!
And most importantly, that your anxiety-level is significantly decreased.




Web Site = http://www.power-over-anxiety.com

Contact Details = Alexandra Mannock, MA, CAGS is a former psychotherapist who offers
an amazing FREE "cure anxiety" 5-Day Mini-Course. Anxiety and "Anger" often
accompany one another, so if you want to know more "anxiety" or "stress"... and if
you want to find out the secrets to curing your anxiety, you can access Alex's free
mini-course at this site: http://www.anxietyzapper.com You can tell Alex what you
think of this article and any other anxiety-related topic, by checking out
http://www.power-over-anxiety.com and sending her an email! She would absolutely
love to hear from you! You can also participate in her "blog!"